An actual phone conversation I had earlier today....

¡°Hello, is this Ed?¡±

¡°Uh, yes it is.¡±

¡°Ed Williams, the writer guy?¡±

¡°Uh, yeah, Ed Williams the writer guy.¡±

¡°How are you? My name is Sam Filbert, and I¡¯m a big fan.¡±

¡°Hey Sam, it¡¯s nice to meet you, what can I do for you?¡±

¡°It¡¯s really you, isn¡¯t it?¡±

¡°Yeah Sam, last time me and my mirror met, it was me.¡±

¡°What? Oh, okay! I see what you¡¯re meaning. That could even be funny, you know. Did you mean for it to be?¡±

¡°Just horsin¡® around. What can I do for you?¡±

¡°I was given your name and number by your dad, Fred Williams, Jr. He seems like a really nice guy. We talked for a long time, and then he gave me your phone number so that I could call you. What a great guy!¡±

¡°Great isn¡®t even close to how I¡®d describe him right now, Sam. Old Fred is quite a guy, and then some. Now look, I have some work I have to get done, and I know you didn¡¯t call just to tell me just how much you like sweet old Fred. What can I do for you?¡±

¡°Ed, I wanted to know if you¡¯d like to help America¡¯s next humor writing superstar!¡±

¡°Well, tell me the name of the person and what they¡¯ve done, and then we can talk more.¡±

¡°Ed, with all due respect, I¡¯m talkin¡¯ about myself!¡±

¡°Sam, you write?¡±

¡°I sure do, Ed. Let me tell you a little about what I¡¯ve written. For the last six months I¡¯ve written something every day, in fact, I write at least two pages each day no matter what!¡±

¡°Sam, that¡¯s very impressive. What kind of stuff do you write?¡±

¡°Well, I love to write stories about growing up in a small Southern town. I grew up in Shady Dale, Georgia, so my manuscript is a bunch of funny stories about all the crazy things we did when I was growing up there.¡±

¡°That¡¯s great, Sam, I give you a lot of credit for being persistent enough to complete an entire manuscript. That¡¯s quite an accomplishment. What¡¯s next for you?¡±

¡°That¡¯s where you come in, Ed.¡±

¡°That¡¯s where I come in? What¡¯re you talking about?¡±

¡°Ed, look. I know getting a book published is hard. Real hard. And I¡¯m sitting here with all these great stories about growing up in Shady Dale - I have no doubt that they¡¯ll be popular and sell tons of books. That¡¯s where you come in, and that¡¯s where you can help me. You can get me in front of a publisher in no time, and then I¡¯ll convince them that they need to publish my book!¡±

¡°I can do that? How?¡±

¡°Just introduce me to the people over at River City Publishing, your publisher. I¡¯ll take it from there. Once they see my stories, I guarantee you they¡¯ll want to do a book.¡±

¡°Ummmmm, Sam, I don¡¯t quite know quite how to say this, but my own stuff happens to be ¡°growing up in the country¡± stories set in Juliette. If I bring River City your stories, which also seem to be ¡°growing up in the country¡± stories set in Shady Dale, then I¡¯m competing with myself. And that¡¯s a not a very smart thing for me to do.¡±

¡°Ed, you¡¯re being a little selfish here, aren¡¯t you? I know my stories are better, but I¡¯ll bet you could still find someone to continue publishing yours. River City is just one publisher, I¡¯ll sure you could find another one.¡±

¡°Exactly, Sam, which is why you should take the initiative and go out and find your own publisher. I wish you the best in your search.¡±

¡°You¡¯re not gonna help me? Don¡¯t you think you¡¯re being a little selfish here, Ed?¡±

¡°No, Sam, I don¡®t. I wish you the best of luck.¡±

¡°Man, this isn¡¯t how your dad Fred said it would go. I trusted him, especially after reading so much about him. Mr. Fred said you like helping new writers, and here I am asking you for help, and you don¡¯t wanna help me.¡±

¡°Sam, tell you what, I¡¯ll make a deal with you. I¡¯ll help you out with River City if you¡¯ll go out first and find me another publisher. Then we¡¯d be even, you¡¯ll have a publisher and I¡¯ll have a publisher. Whatcha think?¡±

¡°I gotta run, Ed. The wife is hollering for me. Tell Fred hello!¡±

*click*........................

About The Author

Ed¡¯s latest book, ¡°Rough As A Cob,¡° can be ordered by calling River City Publishing toll-free at: 877-408-7078. He¡¯s also a popular after dinner speaker, and his column runs in a number of Southeastern publications. You can contact him via email at: ed3@ed-williams.com, or through his web site address at: www.ed-williams.com.