I didn't know a heart could die\rbefore it stopped beating.\rI didn't know a life could cease\rbefore it stopped breathing.

I didn't know how devastation\rcould wend a living soul\rI didn't know how death could make \rone lose all self control.

I didn't know the pain of loss\rwas so intense and sharp.\rI didn't know the depth of void\rdeath leaves within the heart.

I didn't know how often tears\rwould redden hurting eyes.\rI didn't know how hard it was\rto say one's last good-bye's.

I didn't know that pain would come\rand go as it well pleased.\rI didn't know that joy is scarce\rto those who are bereaved.

I didn't know that time would stop\rand meaning cease to be.\rI didn't know that friends would pray\rbut shy away from me.

I didn't know how difficult\rto get the whole night through.\rI didn't know the strength it took\rfor simple tasks to do.

I didn't know that as time pass\rslowly, the pain subsides.\rI didn't know what I thought was lost\rstill in my heart resides.

Now I know a little spark,\rsomehow in me remained.\rNow I know that someway,\rmy life will be sustained.

Now I know the feelings felt,\rwere all a part of grief.\rNow I know how fervent prayer\rhelped me to find relief.

So rest assured my unknown friends,\rthough healing comes real slow.\rIt actually does get better\rfor now, I truly know.

Yes I survived my loved one death\rthat occurred this time last year.\rI feel the loss and always will\rbut the pain's much less severe.

Rev. Saundra L. Washington, D.D., is an ordained clergywoman, social worker, and Founder of AMEN Ministries. http://www.clergyservices4u.org She is also the author of two coffee table books: Room Beneath the Snow: Poems that Preach and Negative Disturbances: Homilies that Teach. Her new book, Out of Deep Waters: A Grief Healing Workbook, will be available soon.